Dear Dr. Toni:
You have mentioned that you interpret dreams in some of your past columns. I am a 47-year-old single, white, female professional. I live alone and am currently not in a relationship. I have been having dreams of this man in my life that is my husband. I have never met this man in real life, but he seems so real. He is kind and loving and wants to take care of me. I find that I can't wait to go back to sleep to reconnect with him. My waking life has become rather boring. I am not feeling challenged by my job anymore and I am not dating very much. Why is this man coming to me in my dreams?
Well, Jane, you give the phrase "the man of my dreams" a literal interpretation! Seriously, though, your dream can have many different interpretations. Let's first look at the emotional tone of the dream. You feel joyful in the dream, fulfilled it sounds. This is a stark contrast with your waking life. Freud once said that dreams were compensatory. Whatever we lack in our daily life, we live out in the dreamtime.
I would go further than this. Jung would see the man in your dreams as your inner male, the animus. He is taking care of you in a way that perhaps you are not taking care of yourself. The dream may also be saying that in order for you to bring in the kind of husband you would like, you must first be a good husband to yourself in your waking life. The inner male in us is the one who makes things happen on the outside. Part of taking care of yourself may involve making some changes in your work. Spend some time observing what you do find yourself feeling interested in. Keep a list. Then review the list and see if there is a theme that connects the dots. Commit to taking one action step a week to expand or reconstruct your professional life.
Take a class that can improve your skill set or can simply bring more interests into your life now. The dreamtime will not have to compensate for your lackluster day life if you design and implement a new blueprint for a fulfilling new destiny.
Dear Dr. Toni:
From time to time you have mentioned astrology in your columns. Can astrology help in making better choices in relationships? I seem to draw in people into my life that continually disappoint me and I just wonder if I am destined to never find love in this lifetime. Your thoughts, please.
Astrology can indeed help in making better choices, but it begins by shedding some insight for you on yourself and your patterns in relationships. Having an astrological reading can illuminate for you how you love and whom you choose to love, what your sexual style is, and your bonding patterns. With a good astrologer, you can see what beliefs you have carried about love and commitment from childhood and other lifetimes. For example, if you also have the planet Venus in the sign of Leo in your chart, besides your Sun sign, you may need a lot of attention and perhaps have been too demanding with your partners to fill your needs, so you may always end up disappointed in what they provide for you.
Once you have done the inner work of healing old patterns and you do bring someone into your life, there is something called synastry and composite charts that can be drawn with that person. It will show compatibility, likelihood of duration in the relationship, sexual chemistry, and the lessons to be learned from one another. It is often a good thing to use also with couples who are having challenges as a marriage
or relationship counseling tool.
Comparing the charts of family members can definitely enhance understanding and harmony. It can also be used as a parenting tool to better understand your child and communicate with that child in the language that will increase communication and rapport.
So, yes, astrology is definitely a tool I use in my practice as both a psychotherapist and as a transitions coach to assist my clients in understanding themselves and others as well as helping me to guide and prepare them for upcoming changes in the next year. I've seen its efficacy many times over the course of the past 20 years, and I feel it is a great asset to me in supporting the unique destiny of each of my clients.
Have a question for the LifeQuake Doctor? Send your questions directly to DrToni@LifeQuake.net.
For those seeking personal guidance from Dr. Toni, she can be reached through her Web site, http://www.lifequake.net, and her office at 310.890.6832. Discover a new, passionate life direction through a soul blueprint reading or her career repurposing telephone coaching called The LifeQuake Method. Call today and give yourself the gift of working with Dr. Galardi so you can expansively move through the second half of this year of massive change.