The Worm's
Waking
by Cari Drolet
This is how a human can change:
there's a worm addicted to eating
grape leaves.
Suddenly, he wakes up,
call it grace, whatever, something
wakes him, and he's no longer
a worm.
He's the entire vineyard,
and the orchard too, the fruit, the trunks,
a growing wisdom and joy
that doesn't need
to devour.
—Rumi, "The Worm's Waking"
As a soul, I chose a very difficult incarnation. I was born into a family that did not provide a solid foundation with the basic human needs such as love, security, nurturing, and validation. There was no such thing as boundaries, and chaos filled every waking moment. At a very young age I found myself on my own, taking care of myself. I was in constant survival mode. I felt as if I was dropped in the middle of a wild jungle with no survival gear, forcing me to get creative in how I lived. I was alone and full of fear and anger, with a huge void deep inside of me. I never felt good enough and I was always sure that everyone on the outside could see how I felt on the inside.
I spent most of my time making sure that I was always put together nicely. I worked very hard to support myself and the image I wanted to uphold to the world. In my most desperate moments I would reach for all sorts of things to distract me from the dark shadow that had chased me everywhere I went. I didn't want to look at the shadow; it was too painful. It was easier for me to keep running from it. My mind convinced me if only I had the perfect job, home, someone who loved me, and the freedom to do whatever I wanted, then and only then would I be a lovable and worthy human being. I had become addicted to the chase. My pursuit of happiness was always outside of myself. I would not rest until I had everything, as I felt I had everything to prove.
All things come to an end, and like the "waking worm" that has to travel from deep in the dirt, creating worm holes to get to upper ground, and caterpillars that have to travel through a dark cocoon to become a beautiful butterfly, I too had to step into my darkness and dance with my shadow to awaken. It was a painful journey to the heart, with many twists and turns, heart breaks, and realizations, but it was through the pain and suffering and defeats in my path that I have found my strength and compassion for others. I love how my friend and spiritual counselor, Amber Flynn, describes the journey. She says that remembering your true nature of which you are "love and light" is like stepping out of the fire and walking up a beautiful mountain. A sense of peace and feeling connected to everything surrounds you. At the top of the mountain, you look back at those left behind and you realize you can't go. You have to go back to hold the light for those still in the darkness.
For me personally, this is how a cultural shift takes place. The shift first needs to take place within ourselves—taking responsibility and choosing to live consciously, shifting our perception and motivation as to how we show up for ourselves and others. Our experiences and how we overcome is what moves, touches, and inspires others to awaken. The willingness to dive into those shadowy parts of ourselves creates the possibility for others to do the same. The light we carry inside radiates out from our heart space and has the capability to change the world.
As a real estate professional helping homeowners who are upside down on their mortgage by negotiating a short sale on their behalf, I have the opportunity to work with a lot of people who are suffering. They need someone to truly care and have their best interest in mind to guide them through this difficult time.
My journey in life has enabled me to be fully present and available for those who are in need. I was speaking with a loan officer the other day, and he was expressing how disappointed he was that some of his colleagues did not learn from the housing crisis. He felt that money and power were still their motivation and that greed is still very much a part of our industry. It reminded me of the duality of life. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and one of the greatest struggles in life is to balance them both. Unfortunately, most of us are living in one or the other. Choosing to put my spiritual practice as number one in my life and my business practice second has enabled me to balance the duality. But most importantly, my spiritual practice has enabled me to stay conscious and mindful to those I might help.
Energetically, 2012 has been a powerful year. I truly believe we are all being called to awaken. No one has been exempt from this calling. All beings everywhere have been thrown some curve balls that have turned their lives as they know it upside down. I challenge you to embrace it, love it, go deeper, and when it hurts like hell, go further inside and just be still so you can find the peace. Like the waking worm, sometimes we have to go through a lot of dirt to find it, but once found, that peace is a feeling that money cannot buy. No one else can give it to you or replace it with anything material. Be the change you wish to see. One of my favorite yoga teaches at the Soul of Yoga in Encinitas always ends her class by saying, "May all beings everywhere be joyous and free. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me."Cari Drolet is a Certified Distressed Property Expert and the founder of Lotus Realty Group, which is located in Solana Beach, CA. For more details, please visit www.LotusRealtyGroup.com, e-mail Cari@LotusRealtyGroup.com, or call 858.764.7300. Also be sure to check out Drolet's blog at wwwlotusrealtygroupcom.blogspot.com.
