Bringing Compassion into Real Estat
by Cari Drolete
Prior to starting Lotus Realty Group, my background included 10 years of working for large financial institutions such as Wells Fargo Home Mortgage, Union Bank of California, and finally, Fieldstone Mortgage, which was one of the top subprime lenders in 46 states. When the mortgage crisis hit in 2007-2008, Fieldstone closed their doors. And so it began. Financial institutions across the country were closing their doors or being bought out by other companies at an alarming rate. All of these bad or “liar” loans created a wave of short sales and foreclosures, causing a lot of fear and confusion for many homeowners. These homeowners are not only defaulting on their mortgage, but are experiencing other hardships due to the ensuing economic downturn, such as job loss, divorce, illness, and in some cases, death.
I think many of us could see this crisis coming for quite some time. However, I don’t think any of us were prepared for the emotional impact this has created. In 2008, I had the opportunity to be part of one of the top real estate teams in San Diego as a realtor and sales partner. The office was used to working a more traditional market at the time. I decided to start talking to homeowners that were defaulting on their mortgage, in hopes of helping them sell their homes that were under water and repair their credit so that they would be able to buy a home again—sooner than if they just let the home go to foreclosure. It was sad to see the panic in their faces and hear the hardships that they were going through. Coming from a real estate office where all client interactions were scripted, I realized in this market that the traditional way of selling real estate and dealing with clients was not going to work.
At the end of 2008, a situation in our office occurred in which a homeowner who was facing foreclosure was not being treated with compassion, and it was disheartening to me. I was told that, “Instead of worrying about one person who cannot help themself, find a way to help many.” In other words, do not be compassionate, and close more deals. My goal since then has been to bring compassion to the real estate industry—teach realtors to connect with their clients by listening, building trust, and offering a full circle solution to get homeowners facing foreclosure through these difficult times and on the road to recovery.
As we move forward into 2012, there will be a new wave of short sales and foreclosures hitting the market. There are over 6 million homeowners that have missed at least one payment and will most likely end up in either a short sale or a foreclosure. The first reaction for a homeowner in this situation is to hold on! They will try to modify their loan or re-finance. The problem with that is loan modifications have a high default rate and re-financing is not as easy as it once was, with 70 percent of the homes under water. I have also found most people experiencing this difficulty are holding on to the emotional attachment that the home, the cars, or other assets represent.
I would like to challenge you to see this as a clearing. The only thing that causes pain and suffering is our attachment to the outcome. What if we try letting go, surrendering, allowing and trusting that all of these trials have been set up for our purification? Clear out the things that are no longer working to allow something better to come in.
I go to a church called Quest Haven in San Elijo Hills. As you walk down the path leading to the church, there is a plaque and it says, “With purity of motivation I enter this house.” Spirit and the universe are constantly teaching me that my motivation has to be pure in its intent. If it is not, then I can create situations that could be potentially harmful for myself and others and bring unwanted baggage and karma. This is a perfect time to reflect on what our motivations were to buy a house or take that job. 2012 can mark a new beginning for all of us. Letting go and jumping off that cliff can be scary, but we will never know what is around the corner and will never be open to receiving if we are still holding on to what is no longer working.
I recently have gone through some painful experiences in my personal life. It has always fascinated me the demons that come out to play when you are trying to awaken to truth. For myself, I have described it as lying on the floor and watching all of these dark images swirling around me creating chaos and confusion. The ironic thing is, today I recognize the faces of these dark images and I know where they go. Should I choose to keep allowing them to create more chaos and confusion, well, then there is no one to blame but myself. I worked with a wonderful spiritual counselor who also describes it as my file cabinet. She said when I decided to awaken, the universe came in and opened my file cabinet and threw all my files in the air, and my job was to file them back where they belong. They could be the seven deadly sins or simply our emotions that are weighing us down. Trying to put all of the darkness back in its proper place to move forward, I feel, is everyone’s challenge in life, not just my own, and that helps me to feel less alone. I would like to challenge everyone moving forward to open your file cabinet. See what is there and let the work begin. Peace, love and light.Cari Drolet is a Certified Distressed Property Expert and the founder of Lotus Realty Group, which is located in Solana Beach, CA. For more details, please visit the Web site, www.LotusRealtyGroup.com, e-mail Cari@LotusRealtyGroup.com, or call 858.764.7300. Also be sure to check out Drolet’s blog at http://wwwlotusrealtygroupcom.blogspot.com/.
