Random Acts of Kindness Laughing With the Wise Ones
by Elyse Briggs
It happens without thinking. You spot a situation, quickly access, act, and BAM—you’ve done something that affects someone else’s life, and for that matter, yours, too. (Hopefully that action is a positive one.) What just happened?
A random act of kindness, according to Webster, is defined as: “a selfless act performed by a person or people wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual person or people.” Maybe it was the year I spent as a Brownie at age 6 when I learned that we’re supposed to help each other! Gravitating towards helping kids and animals, and assisting the elderly—my favorite, simply because I’m headed in that direction—is a passion of mine. (Not to take away from the injustices done every day that involve kids and animals—my heart bleeds every day for all of them.) Given that I’m a Type A, middle-aged (is 60-ish still middle-aged?), neurotic Jewish woman, my heart is always bleeding for something. However, I’ve learned lately to fight my own ADD (did I mention that yet?) and focus on one particular topic that helps with my own frustration level and lets me focus on those who really need the help!
Being a yoga teacher and movement/massage therapist, I have the fortunate opportunity to work with folks in their 70s, 80s, 90s, and, yes, 100s! 100 and beyond is not a big deal these days if you do it right. I meet these wonderful seniors, or is it more PC to say the mature, in assisted living facilities, at my private office, or my yoga studio. I call them, “The Wise Ones.”
The Wise Ones and I work on movement problems or on their inability to move the way they want to. We talk about why they’re not moving and what caused the immobility and the frustration around all of it. Maybe it’s due to a recent surgery or tumble, or maybe the fact that they’re just “plain old lazy,” as one of my clients just told me yesterday.
As we work individually or in a group setting, they kvetch (“complain” in Yiddish). I listen. They show me what they can’t do any longer, and as they try, they laugh and shake their heads. I assist by teaching them how to move themselves. There’s more kvetching and more listening and a lot more laughing. As we laugh, they notice they’re breathing differently, better. I’m saying, “Deep breath in, deep breath out, but only through your nose and deep into the belly.” One Wise One says, “I don’t have a belly, I have an abdomen. I’m svelte!” There’s more laughter.
Then the realization comes, and it happens every time with every group or individual: if you can still laugh, and particularly at yourself, you thrive. Together we stretch and kvetch, but mainly we laugh.
I have hundreds of rich stories and experiences with the Wise Ones, but here’s the best one to date. Last week I worked with a particular group of Wise Ones in the Pico/Robertson neighborhood (mostly Jewish). Toward the end of our session, we reviewed how proper breathing affects the central nervous system. It was determined that mouth breathing, rapidly and high in the chest, triggered the sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight response) and made them feel bad, anxious, and out of control. In their words, it was more like, famisht and fahrblunget (feeling like you should lie in the ground like a piece of garlic) and fakakta (something that is not working well or is really crap.) Whether you’re Jewish or not, and most people I work with are not, you’ve got to agree, Yiddish certainly is colorful and to the point! I know I’m learning a lot.
Then, upon reviewing and experiencing the pleasant effects that the parasympathetic nervous system triggered, by breathing calmly through the nose into the belly (or abdomen, with all due respect to our svelte Wise Ones), they all agreed that they felt good and relaxed and calm. I asked what the Yiddish word for “calm” was. There were glances, dead silence, shrugged shoulders. No one knew. Again, laughter. Lots of it. And it was unanimous. They felt taller, more mobile, and most importantly, younger.
With respect to having the honor of being asked to write about random acts of kindness, this is what came to mind: bringing joy to those who are otherwise ailing emotionally or physically, and inspiring laughter. BIG laughter is what living to the fullest means to me. When they laugh, I laugh. When they kvetch, I still laugh. They call me “mean.” I tell them to work harder, and then we’re all hysterical.
Performing a random act of kindness doesn’t take much. You take what you’ve got and put it to work. You don’t have to be superhuman. Just be a mensch. (Look it up.)Elyse Briggs, NCTMB, RTT, ERYT-500, is Nationally Certified in Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork, a Licensed Massage Therapist, and a certified and nationally registered teacher of therapeutic massage and yoga with a private practice in Glendale, CA. She is also the author of the DVD series, Stretch In Time®, which helps seniors improve the health of their spines and stretch major joints and muscles with five simple exercises. This motivational DVD is closed-captioned for seniors who are deaf or hard of hearing, and emphasizes the importance of building strength and endurance as people age. Please visit http://www.stretchintime.com.
