A Conversation with Shari Arison Author of BIRTH - When the Spiritual and the Material Come Together by Sydney L. Murray
Our theme this month is Compassionate Living. As I talk with Shari Arison, author of Birth I am reminded that compassion comes from a place of no judgment. Arison’s demeanor during our discussion is forthright and her thoughts are brief. Her words are simple yet powerful and her beliefs about how we each can change the world around and within us are direct and to the point. I appreciate this as my world can seem incredibly complex at times.
Vision Magazine: How do you think the world is changing?
Shari Arison: The world is changing in many, many ways. I feel that we are changing on all levels–personal, inter-personal, community and country-wise and globally. I believe that everything is a reflection of what goes on within ourselves, and that the change is happening both within and without. The old is falling apart–all that is not good and not working is coming out–like pus oozing from a wound–and something is being born; something purer, nicer and better.
VM: What do you think each of us can do, on a daily basis, to transform ourselves on an internal level?
SA: In order to transform ourselves, we must look inside and connect to our inner voices, and to peel off the layers that have accumulated through life. It is important to get through to the layers about the ways we were brought up and get to the things that hurt, as well as the different life experiences that made us protect ourselves. There are layers upon layers. And in order to make the transformation, we need to peel off the layers. We need to see where they’re coming from—if we’re angry, hurt or sad—to really know what’s going on. And then: Release it, and reach your inner core and your inner essence.
VM: How do you think people can turn difficult times in their lives in to learning experiences?
SA: I think with a lot of awareness. And most importantly, understand that everything in life comes about in order to teach us a lesson, so that we can grow and connect with ourselves and to come to a better place. I think if we see every life lesson, no matter what it is—no matter how it hard it is, as a gift in which to grow—that in itself makes a big difference.
VM: How we can support others who are less fortunate?
SA: I think, for me, the best way to support others is to help them with tools. Our foundation, The Essence of Life, and I, do a lot of giving with an emphasis on education. I believe it is important to give tools to empower people so that they can stand on their own two feet. I always say it is like giving the fishing rods rather than the fish, because if you give it away it causes dependency.
VM: What do the words “compassionate living” mean to you?
SA: To me, compassion is the basis of everything. When I talk about inner transformation, what I mean is that we need to care for ourselves; we need to care in a way that we respect and listen to ourselves and to our inner voices. And when we talk about caring for others, we need to understand that each and every one of us has our good and our not-so-good [aspects]. So, when we look at it this way, we can connect to the inner goodness and be more caring. We can lend a helping hand. It is important for people to understand that it doesn’t take money and it doesn’t take power, to lend a hand. Essentially it is just helping someone across the street, or giving him or her a smile and brightening their day; it is caring about someone other than yourself.
VM: What do you believe your life’s work is about?
SA: It’s about transformation—by making a difference and making changes—and by generating conversations as well as generating acts of human kindness that will transform the world. You know, we are all inter-connected; we are all part of the same puzzle. We all share this globe. If you hurt others, you are hurting yourself. When you help others, you are helping yourself.
VM: For those with very little, or no material wealth, how do you think they can transform their lives?
SA: We all basically want the same thing. Of course, we all need food and water and housing and we all deserve to breathe clean air. Aside from this, I think everyone wants to be healthy and happy. People should do whatever it takes for them to be happy. You can be rich and unhappy and you can be poor and very happy. I don’t think that it is material wealth that makes us feel a certain way, either happy or sad.
It is the will to make a difference in your life that is essential. Some might call it believing in something. More so, it is about the will and the desire to bring yourself to a better place, whatever that may mean to you.
VM: Do you think those parts of our culture, based upon greed and selfishness, are truly being transformed into benevolence and compassion?
SA: You cannot see the light of day, if you haven’t been through the darkness of night. In order to know or to choose [actions which are] good, you have to experience the opposite—the not-so-good. There are those extremes. And I think the world came to a place where people became more and more greedy, more and more manipulative, more and more caring about only material wealth and we can all see where this has gotten us. I don’t think, anymore, that we can take from each other and take from our resources and do it in a way that isn’t caring about the results upon each other and our environment. We have seen the effects of these behaviors and people are beginning to understand that we need to act differently.
VM: In your book, Birth, you had a teacher who asked you where you see yourself in twenty years and I will ask the same question: ‘Where do you see yourself in twenty years?’
SA: Wow! You know, it’s funny because years ago when I was asked that question, I couldn’t envision it. Today, however, I have come to a place where I truly live in the moment. I wanted to reach a place in my life where I was in the present, and to really be happy–that’s all I want now.
VM: If you could do anything in this New Year, what would it be?
SA: Just to continue what I am doing—trying to make the world a better place, in every way I can.
I don’t see a world without compassion. I think that we should all understand that we’re in this together. My son always says that if we’re in a rowboat and someone punches a whole in it, then we are all going to drown. On the other hand, if everyone pitches in and helps push the oars in the same direction, then we all get to where we need to be. This is how I see compassion—we need to understand that we are all in this together.
For more information on Arison’s book Birth visit www.phoenixbooksandaudio.com. Arison has also created a “Good Deeds Day” scheduled for March 16th in Israel. This is for anyone who wants to do a good deed that day. The celebration of “Good Deeds Day” is just before Passover. It is a day to stop and think, “What good deeds can I do today?” In Israel, it is very well known and more and more people are getting involved every year. This year, they are expanding the day to include the international community. Please join them. See www.arison.com for more information.