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Living Arts
An Invisible Box
by Darshana Atman
I bumped into an invisible box today and when I turned around to walk the other way, I realized that the box had surrounded me. Although its wall I could not see, its presence was undeniable. There was a pressure that was felt; a constriction that wrapped itself around me like a python whose strangle could steal away my last breath.
It’s simple to recognize this invisible imprisonment, for it always appears as the dark shadow of expectation. To expect of myself, or to have something expected of me, I am immediately confined within the walls of my self-inflicted fears.
Yes, this invisible box is built of expectations, assumed responsibility, and the mortar of self-doubt. My freedom is given up when I allow these pressures to affect me, to control me. What liberation might I discover if instead of trying to meet expectations, I chose to be responsible for only that which I truly can be?
Most expectations are an unconscious demand that someone or something else is responsible for my happiness. And yet it doesn’t matter what someone else does, for it is always up to me to receive life via my own perspective and response. Thus, it is my choice to be happy or not. Expectation becomes an excuse not to take responsibility and in truth, the pressure it places on external matters is not a just way of interacting with the world.
Justice is the balance of all things. When we relate to the world with expectation, we are requesting more from the world than we are giving, and this is out of balance. Thus, justice and freedom from our expectations go hand in hand. When we are conditioned by expectation and overwhelming responsibility, the justice in our lives tilts and we find ourselves imprisoned for reasons that seem outside of our control. Where we do have the ability to respond (as in response-ability) is in choosing to commit only to those matters we have a real effect upon—those things that pertain to ourselves. We have real power over our own happiness, but not over another’s happiness. We have real power over how we interact with one another and we have real power to realize when we are committed to an expectation, an assumption, or a fear that falls outside of reality.
I build this box around me because I forget I am in control of only that which is inside the box. And when I embrace myself and surrender to the reality of what is, the box disappears. Unhindered by invisible walls, I now have the ability to co-create and respond to the world.
Darshana Atman is a spiritual nomad riding the wind to wherever the breeze may settle. He practices presence, holding space for others to see the beauty of this moment and to express the beauty of their own spirit. In San Diego, CA, he founded a non-profit organization, The Center for Connection, to promote the development of conscious communities. Since traveling, he has begun Project Angel Wings, an Initiative of Global Connection. For more information, please visit www.centerforconnection.org.