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LifeQuake™
Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor
Dr. Toni Galardi
Dear Dr. Toni:
I have been in recovery for a marijuana addiction for about a year. I went into an inpatient treatment facility and dealt with some of the issues that were driving it. I am a 22-year-old artist who is supporting himself by waiting tables. I fell off the wagon, so to speak, only once and it lasted about a month. Here is my problem: I don’t want to give up having cocktails with my friends. I’m off the pot but there is no anonymous program that allows you avoid the drug you’re addicted to and still drink alcohol. So, I can’t go to AA meetings and not feel like a hypocrite. I know I need some kind of group support. I was wondering if you knew of any organizations I could go to?
John
Dear John:
First of all, there is now an anonymous program for marijuana addiction. Marijuana Anonymous has meetings nationally and online:
www.marijuana-anonymous.org. Here is my take on partial sobriety. I believe the anonymous programs have much to offer anyone who is new to recovery or who needs group support on an ongoing basis. However, I am not a hardliner on labeling yourself for life as an alcoholic, a foodaholic, or whatever your addiction is. What I do know from my years of working with addiction is that the substance itself is not the problem. If you have only one glass of wine at night but you have to have that glass in order to relax, you are not dealing with stress in an effective manner. The key with your alcohol consumption is to ask yourself why you need to have those cocktails and not have a Coke or Perrier with your friends. If you fear their disapproval, that is something to look at. If you are substituting the buzz you got from pot with vodka, then you are kidding yourself.
To truly be in recovery, you need to have friends you socialize with who either don’t drink or smoke pot or who are following a healthy lifestyle. I would also recommend checking out spiritually oriented organizations like the Church of Religious Science, which is non-denominational, Unity Church, or a meditation group, such as Siddha Yoga. Hatha Yoga, the physical discipline most people know about is also a great form of exercise that can help with your sobriety because it focuses on the breath. Good luck and remember that recovery requires surrender. Surrendering your conscious mind to your deepest soul needs is best achieved through some kind of meditation. Taking a class to learn how to meditate will very much support your recovery process.
Dear Dr. Toni:
I no longer enjoy my job. I have been a corporate executive for 20 years and it has made me a good living. However, I notice I am thinking about food all the time when I’m at work. Even if I’m not snacking, I find myself pouring over magazine articles that have recipes in them. I actually do have a passion for cooking but I’m too old to go back to school to become a chef and in this economy, it is too risky to start my own business. I’m starting to put on weight in spite of exercising. What should I do, doc?
Amanda the Foodie
Dear Amanda:
You are not alone in your dilemma. Many people are overeating as a response to the current economic contraction. When we are no longer challenged by our work, it is common to reach for something that will nurture us. The first thing that nurtured us in infancy was a breast or a bottle of milk, so it is a primal coping mechanism. The first key is to look at ways you can nurture yourself that also are enlivening, like taking a walk at lunch and finding a way of looking at your surroundings with new eyes. What might you discover? Make a point to get out into nature on the weekends if you work in a city environment.
Get up early enough to spend 15 minutes in quiet meditation. Place your hand over your heart and ask your inner child to speak to you. What does she long for? Give her one thing in a day that would nurture her. After a week, do the exercise again, only this time ask to speak to your future self that is living a life of passionate purpose. What would she look like? What is the facial expression on this self? Now ask, what is one thing you could do this week that would begin the discovery of your next “vocation of destiny” that would not threaten your financial security? Moving into your next career can happen incrementally. Hint: Your passion for cooking is a clue. Women have started famous cookie companies while keeping their day jobs. It is possible to make a career change in a bad economy if you have a plan that can allow you to do it incrementally. Just remember, the first step is to listen to the yearnings of your child self.
Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist and author of The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (Not Just Survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval. Her website address is www.LifeQuake.net. For personal consultation or to sign up for her new tele-course on Uncovering Your Life Purpose, please call 310.712.2600.