.jpg)
Inner Healing
Loving Yourself Enough to Follow Your Dreams
by K.J. Cleveland
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
No matter our age, we all have inherent dreams and desires we would like to see come forth in our lives. Our dreams are what we are put on earth to do. We all have a purpose, which may entail making obvious changes in the world, or it may be more subtle. Dreams represent our desire to manifest fully into who we are here to become.
Sometimes, however, we unconsciously set limitations on ourselves without even realizing it. We may forget those dreams from childhood, or adopt the belief system that our dreams are fruitless endeavors. If we do not love ourselves enough, we seek love from others in the form of acceptance and approval. We may try to live up to the standards we feel society has set for us, and if those images are not in line with our dreams, we consequently banish our deepest desires.
When you completely set yourself free through love and acceptance of yourself, what you desire in life becomes clear. What is most important is that you get to know yourself, at your core. Only you know what your path is. If you love yourself enough to not be concerned with how you may appear to others, then you will have the courage to follow your dreams. But if your self-love is tied up in the accolades you receive from others, you may feel too fearful to recognize and follow your true path.
When I first moved to California, my brother and I decided to publish our own magazine in West Los Angeles. At first, it was exciting and mostly everyone I met seemed so proud of us. However, we never intended it to be a life long endeavor. After awhile, I decided to move to the suburbs, work at a local restaurant, and write my first book. Although this new path impressed pretty much no one, it was the right path for me. I could pay my bills, be around good people, and I had plenty of time to write.
If we figure out who we are and what our dreams are, then we can rationally and intuitively figure out how to best make our dreams come true. Below is a set of exercises to help you realize your dreams and encourage you to live the life you truly desire.
First, sit down in a quiet place with a pen and paper in front of you, and get in a meditative frame of mind. Silence everything around you so that all you can hear is your voice deep inside. Answer the following questions with the first thing that comes to your mind. No matter how ridiculous it sounds, write it down. And most importantly, do not read through the exercises ahead of time. This will ruin its purpose. Just make sure you have about 30 or 40 minutes to devote to the exercise. Okay, here we go.
Begin by taking about 20 minutes to brainstorm what your life would be like if you could do anything you want. Really have fun with this. Write down what you would do as if you had absolutely no limitations. If you want to be a ballerina, a fireman, a gymnast, a teacher, a police officer, the CEO of a company, an architect, or in great health and shape, write it down. Do you wish you had a college degree? What would you major in? Or do you wish you had a family? Allow yourself to dream completely with this exercise. Explore the feelings down in the pit of your stomach—what do they say to you? What gives you butterflies? Think back to when you were a child, or to a certain glorious moment in your life. What was it you wanted to do with all your heart? This is your time to dream and write out a life that is just perfect for you. Stop reading now, and write for 20 minutes.
Now, catch your breath, and sit in silence for a moment as you ponder what you’ve just written. You should feel warm and fuzzy inside with an air of exhilaration. Rest for just a moment and then move on to the next exercise, which may not be so enjoyable.
With this second exercise, take ten minutes and write down why you believe these dreams may never transpire in your life. Do you feel you are too old? Do you think you are not tall enough? Are you limited physically? Do you feel you aren’t smart enough? Do you not know how to achieve your dreams or feel too scared to try? Do you not have the money to do what you want?
This exercise was, of course, not as fun. But here comes the good part: the results of your quiz. What you’ve written down in the first exercise is an outthrust of what I refer to as The Raw You, or your soul. It is an example of what you were meant to become. Be creative and figure out what you can do now that relates to what you’ve written down. And remember to always trust your instincts to lead you in the right direction.
Now with the second exercise, cross out everything that you have the power to change. Do not allow external limitations to prevent you from becoming all you can become. Perhaps you will have some real limitations, and you will have to deal with those, see if you can improve upon them, or just accept them. However, make sure those limitations that may seem real to you are not actually self-created or socially conditioned in your mind. Remember that people with disabilities and other hindrances have done remarkable things in history. For example, Beethoven was deaf and didn’t let this stop him from becoming one of the greatest composers of our time. It is a matter of just having enough passion and belief in yourself to not let any perceived limitations stop you from fulfilling your dreams.
You should have a wonderful list of things that you can start dreaming about, planning and working toward today—at this very moment. Seeing through fear-based limitations is our secret to happiness. Our minds are incredibly powerful. Have faith in yourself and remember that you can do anything you put your mind to. Believe in yourself, and believe in your dreams.
K.J. Cleveland has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in history and philosophy. To learn more about knowing yourself and making your dreams come true, check out her book, The Raw You: A Contemplation of the Soul, available at www.amazon.com, www.borders.com and www.target.com.