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LifeQuake™
Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor
Dr. Toni Galardi
Change is definitely in the air. This month marks an historic new year with the presidential inauguration of a bi-racial man who came from humble beginnings, grew up abroad, and was raised by a single mother. Except for his Ivy League education, Barack Obama does not embody the typical upbringing of an American president. He ran for office advocating themes of change and the idea that anything is possible if you believe it.
This month I am devoting my column to explore what beliefs must be given up or embraced to experience a complete regeneration of life—without bringing in a crisis. What is in the deepest longing of your heart? If you were to listen and observe very carefully, what is calling out to be known within you this year?
For me, the biggest change in 2009 is that I have come back to Los Angeles after taking a sabbatical in San Diego to write my new book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon. Sometimes we need to move away from a place or situation to come back to it with a new perspective.
The highest expression of a LifeQuake is in discovering the answers to life’s questions without resorting to catastrophic circumstances to motivate you to change your life. This discovery offers the opportunity to express the fullest potential in you.
May we all discover a whole new meaning to the word “prosperity” in this new year!
Dear Dr. Toni:
I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety since September. We have needed to cut our lifestyle expenses in half. I have done that but I still have this feeling of impending doom for the future of our planet. Every day the news on TV reports the latest information about the world economy and our environment’s imminent collapse. I want to have a positive feeling about my future as well as that of my children, but it all looks so bleak. What should I do to become more optimistic?
Deborah H.
Dear Deborah:
I am going to suggest something radical. For one month, stop watching the news, reading the newspaper, or getting your news online for that matter. During that month, every morning for 15 minutes, close your eyes and breathe. Once you are settled in your body, envision the planet (and the people on it) as expressing their fullest potential. At the end of each day, revisit this visualization for 15 minutes by contemplating the good news you created that day. When did you extend kindness to another? When did you do something green that contributed to energy conservation? What thoughts did you have throughout the day (if only for a moment) that sent out positive expectations of our planetary future? Check back with me in a month and let me know if this has reduced your anxiety levels.
Dear Dr. Toni:
I lost my wife to cancer a year ago. We were married for 15 years. My children went through a very dark period while she was dying and afterwards. We seem to just be coming out of it. I decided that it was time for me to begin dating, but my daughter is not handling the change in me very well. She is very jealous of any women I bring home and starts acting out in front of them. My wife was sick for a long time and I am lonely. I want a healthy, happy soul mate in life. Am I being selfish? Is it too soon?
Widower in Sedona
Dear Widower:
I hear you talk about your children not being ready. I hear you say that you are lonely. What I don’t hear is whether you have learned to be alone and happy as a single father first. Are you looking for someone to replace your children’s mother on some subconscious level? Sometimes, but not always, children act out the disowned parts of ourselves. Perhaps there is some psychological work that needs to be done to complete the death of your wife. You don’t mention if you have seen a therapist since her death. Once you have done some soul searching on your reasons for dating now, then I would encourage you to seek counseling with your children on this issue. This way, you can all get your real feelings out in order to approach the inclusion of another person into your lives in a sensitive manner.
By the way, I would not recommend bringing anyone home to meet your kids until you are sure you are serious about a future with this person. Yes, it is difficult raising children alone after a spouse leaves, especially if it is through death, but the more time you take to achieve completion with the past by developing a new family with just you and your kids, the healthier your next relationship will be.
To submit questions for Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor, contact Dr. Toni Galardi through DrToni@LifeQuake.net (no period after the Dr). For those seeking private consultation, Dr. Toni can be reached at 310.712.2600, 619.819.6400 or through her website, www.LifeQuake.net.