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LifeQuake™
Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor
Dr. Toni Galardi
Dear Dr. Toni:
I am a single parent with two children and I was laid off from my job last month. Christmas is coming and I feel like a failure because not only have I not been able to find another job, but there is very little money I can spare for Christmas. What do I tell my kids? Christmas is a time for giving and I have very little to give them.
Distraught in Santa Monica
Dear Distraught:
I’m sure it’s cold comfort to know that many people are in the same boat as you this Christmas but consider this: if Christmas is about giving, why not teach your children what the true spirit of giving is all about? I would recommend that you do some research to find out where you and your kids could go and volunteer your time. Miracles happen when we become expansive. While you didn’t mention what your skills are or what you were doing professionally before you were laid off, I can tell you that sometimes a door becomes closed so that another can open. However, we can’t see opportunity if we collapse into fear. Stepping into an altruistic spirit and extending yourself to those less fortunate will increase your awareness and your gratitude for what you do have. In that expanded state, what I call divine coincidences can occur. Through volunteering your time, you may meet someone who provides a career opportunity or simply by projecting that good feeling of giving your time, you may attract a professional opening from another direction.
Studies have shown that humanitarianism not only lifts depression, but it increases T cells which strengthen the immune system. Can you think of any other time of year when we could most use help to our immune system? Between the sugar consumption, the stress of traffic and trying to shop economically, it is no wonder that colds and the flu proliferate. So, check out the Los Angeles Mission or the Sunlight Mission in Santa Monica. Explore volunteer opportunities at local hospitals that have pediatric wings. This is also a great time of year to clean out closets and donate toys, clothes, and anything else that is accumulating dust and not being used. St. Vincent De Paul, The Salvation Army, and The Red Cross all take donations. You can make this a fun project if you take your kids with you to make the donations. One of my clients was complaining about the accumulation of toys in the garage. I suggested he go through them with his four-year-old son and let him be a part of the process. Initially, he rejected the idea, saying that his son wouldn’t part with anything—even the things he wasn’t playing with anymore. I suggested that maybe he had underestimated his son. As it turned out, not only did the boy give his dad a bunch of his toys, he wanted to go with him and meet the kids they were donating them to!
If you want to create a few extra dollars for Christmas, try having a garage sale. One person’s trash is another person’s treasure! And you might find amazing deals by going to thrift stores and consignment shops for Christmas gifts yourself. While we are on the subject of gift giving, another creative idea might be for you to suggest to your children that they think of something they want that you can’t buy at a store that is more like a service you could each do for one another. Then create a coupon book. For example, Mom will make your favorite meal, or you can have five extra hours of television or computer game time. If you can’t afford to take the whole family to the movies anymore, rent a couple of DVDs and make gourmet popcorn with different seasonings tailored to each kid’s palate. I would definitely suggest renting It’s A Wonderful Life this year. Get out the board games and play together instead of sitting in front of your respective computers in separate rooms.
Teach your kids how to cook or bake holiday treats as gifts for friends. This is an opportunity for you to spend more time together with your kids. A dear friend of mine lost her home in a divorce and she and her two kids had to share a two bedroom apartment. She swears that they grew much closer over the three years that they were there.
I would offer to all of my readers this advice: challenge yourself to make this holiday season the one you remember having felt the greatest spirit running through your heart and out into the world! We have so much to be thankful for.
To submit questions for Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor, contact Dr. Toni Galardi through DrToni@LifeQuake.net (no period after the Dr). For those seeking private consultation, Dr. Toni can be reached at 310.712.2600, 619.819.6400 or through her website, www.LifeQuake.net.