LifeQuake™
Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor
Dr. Toni Galardi
Dear Dr. Toni:
I am newly married to a man whose mother hates me. No matter what I do, I will never be good enough for her son. I have tried everything to get her to like me and nothing has worked. What should I do? It is getting to the point, Dr. Toni, where I dread going to see my in-laws.
Frustrated in Fresno
Dear Frustrated:
If it is any consolation, Harry Truman’s mother in-law thought he wasn’t good enough for her daughter even after he became Leader of the Free World! And here’s why. It has nothing to do with you. In fact, that has to be your new mantra. “This has nothing to do with me.” Sometimes parents who aren’t too happy in their own marriages make the children their intimate partner and when those children grow up and find a real intimate partner, it is as though you are the mistress with whom he is cheating on her.
Your mother-in-law is a great teacher for you. Unhook from your need for her approval and if she is blatantly disrespectful in your presence, speak up. Don’t just be a passive bystander at a wrecked relationship. Tell her—in front of your husband, in a respectful tone, how you feel when she says certain things. And then let go… Release your need for her to hear you, understand you, or even respond to you. Detach. Good luck, my dear. This is not easy. I know; I’ve been there.
Dear Dr. Toni:
I am a 22 year old artist and fresh out of a chemical dependency hospital. I was drinking and using drugs and it got out of hand. I go to AA meetings but for the past few weeks since I got clean I have been having these strange experiences in which my head starts buzzing and my brain feels like it is going to explode and then some part of me floats out of my body and I can actually see myself from a distance. Also, before people speak, I know what they are going to say, 70 percent of the time. It is freaking me out. I don’t know who to talk to about this. Most people will think I am still on drugs or psychotic! Can you help?
Paul from San Diego
Dear Paul:
Just to be safe, I think it might be a good idea to get a physical that includes an MRI but it sounds like you may be having a kundalini awakening. Go online and Google the symptoms for this and see if you can relate. The kundalini is an energy that is the bridge between the physical body and the etheric body. It resides in the electrical fields of the body. It is considered an evolutionary mechanism that is taking us into a more conscious, sensitive, but lighter body. Therefore, it is very important to drink a lot of water and eat very grounding foods right now such as dense proteins. People who are long-standing vegetarians sometimes choose to eat animal protein temporarily to ground the body during this transition.
You didn’t say if you are meditating or not. I would not recommend meditations that take you out of the body right now. Yoga that stimulates the kundalini would also not be advisable. A good contemplation is to walk in Mother Earth and breathe in her energy through your feet and allow her to nurture and ground you. Also, before you go to sleep, surround yourself in white light and set an intention that you are protected and strengthened while you sleep. I work with this phenomenon in my life coaching and have found it to be common in artists and other sensitive types. I think that as the world is evolving so rapidly now, many people will be awakening and not know how to frame these bizarre vibrations and sensations. There are a few books on the subject such as: Kundalini: Psychosis or Transcendence, by Lee Sannella, M.D., a short but highly informative book, and Stormy Search For Self, by Christina Grof.
It also helps to be guided by a teacher during this transition. There are meditation centers that are Tibetan, Buddhist or Hindu, which can be of assistance as well.