Mind States
From Forgiveness to Fulfillment
by Azim Khamisa
Following the loss of his only son Tariq in 1995 to a senseless, gang-related murder, Azim Khamisa chose the path of forgiveness rather than revenge. This inspiring choice led to the establishment of the Tariq Khamisa Foundation (TKF) and the subsequent forgiveness movement that reached millions. Working alongside Ples Felix, the grandfather of the young man who murdered Tariq, and through speaking engagements worldwide, Azim brings the message of peace and nonviolence to a world facing war on the streets and in foreign lands. A devout Muslim, Azim offers the following excerpt about terrorism from his second book From Forgiveness to Fulfillment published in November, 2007.
Finding Empathy
I do not like everything about the times we live in, and (regarding the terrorist attack of September 11, 2001), I am not in harmony with the aggression displayed toward us. But I do wonder what our national response would be if we contemplated our role as participants on the world stage of violence. We have often been the aggressors, taking the steps of violence toward our own political ends. We as individuals and as a nation have not always acted perfectly, and we seem to be caught in a spinning wheel of reactive violence to which there is no beginning and no end.
War begets war. This is a fact of history. And violence begets violence. War is a Band-Aid fix, a temporary or expedient remedy. As long as the scars of hatred, resentment, and revenge linger, the wounds of our nation will never be completely healed, and we will always remain vulnerable to the next violent act. True, there is a threat to be stopped and a world to be healed, but every faith and every great teacher of ethics and morality has taught us the same basic truth: Do unto others what you would have them do unto you.
What I’m proposing is empathy at all levels. It will take courage to shift the paradigm from violence to peacemaking. Surely there will be a price to be paid, but if we stay on this same path of retaliation and violence, there is a great price to be paid anyway. I sincerely acknowledge the men and women in our military who are putting their lives on the line in service to their country. When I say I am against war, I am not saying I am against our troops. I greatly admire their courage and patriotism, but it breaks my heart that we are losing so many of our young souls to war. I would much rather see our military train peacemakers, not soldiers, and have them be armed with compassion, not guns.
Waging war is an expensive enterprise. The war on Iraq has cost thousands of lives and hundreds of billions of dollars. Most people can’t imagine that amount of money. Think of the transformations we could have made on behalf of our nation’s youth and the youth of the world had we put that amount of money into efforts toward peace and compassion.
I am very proud to say that we Americans have developed an incredible nation in two hundred short years. I feel fortunate to be accepted as a naturalized citizen of this great country, and, in turn, I pledge to always uphold America’s values and commit myself to diligently serving my country and its people. Our free democratic, meritocratic, economic model is one of the best in the world, and we do share this with gusto. As one of the wealthiest and most successful nations on the planet, we enjoy freedom. I have always said that one of the things I love most about our country is that it epitomizes hope. Think about it—you can be a bodybuilder and become the governor of California! Another example is Oprah, born a poor, African-American girl in the South and abused as a child, only to become one of the most powerful icons in the world.
These kinds of opportunities are available to all Americans. They are something we should celebrate and in which we can take immense pride. However, when you compare our social model to our economic or technological model, it is pathetic. A myriad of social ills plague our country—homelessness, child slavery, teen prostitution, kids joining gangs, kids killing kids, children without health insurance, the plight of our inner cities, and domestic violence, to name only a few. I often wonder why we can’t build a social model that rivals our economic and technological platforms. Maybe that should be our main focus in this millennium. We desperately need to create an equal importance and focus for the social infrastructure of our society. I would love to see all of you who are successful business people and professionals be inspired to double and triple your efforts to help establish this model. Maybe we all need to become social entrepreneurs as exemplified by Bill and Melinda Gates and Warren Buffet. This would be the best gift we could give, because what happens in America eventually happens elsewhere in the world.
Unprecedented Opportunities
I acknowledge that conflict is part of life. There is conflict between spouses, ex-spouses, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, peers, business partners, and many other relationships in our lives. Conflict is not going to go away. What is important is that we shift our paradigm about conflict and view it as an opportunity to create brotherhood, sisterhood, love, and unity.
Unless we are able to do this, the human race will perish. When you look at 9/11 as an opportunity to create unity, you can see that there are many other options we could have pursued besides those actions based on revenge and violence. Nonviolent options could have led to promoting peace, saving lives, escaping the grief of families who have lost sons and daughters to war, and saving many hundreds of billions of dollars better spent to strengthen and reform the social infrastructure of our society.
From this vantage point, 9/11 presented us with a singularly unprecedented opportunity for this generation to create a better world—a more peaceful world. If we only would have had the collective courage to choose forgiveness, we could have turned this conflict into a path to peace. I am not suggesting that I have all the answers to the complicated conflicts in the world. However, I do believe it is important that we engage in a serious national and global conversation to answer the questions I’ve posed in this chapter. I believe that the solutions which come from our collective conscious [sic] will provide answers to these questions. More importantly, the solutions will create love, unity, and a peaceful world that is safe for our children, one that gives them hope and opportunity to prosper and build a new and better world.
We Americans can cause all this to happen. It is our place in history to do so, but so far the national will is lacking. How will we find the courage and the determination to shift our consciousness to one of peace? We must begin small, in our own neighborhoods, in our own families. We must begin in our own hearts.
Azim Khamisa can be reached at Azim@AzimKhamisa.com or his office 858.452.6849. The book is available at www.AzimKhamisa.com.