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LifeQuake™
Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor
Dr. Toni Galardi
The Spring Equinox is soon upon us. In the spirit of the season of change, I am expanding the column’s scope. In addition to being a psychotherapist / transitions coach, I am also an astrologer. I am now accepting letters from readers who want to know how their astrological blueprints are affecting their LifeQuakes and who are willing to have their questions answered in this column. When submitting a question, you must also submit your birth date. As always, you will remain anonymous. This additional aspect of the column begins next month.
When posing a question for the column, you do not have to submit your birth date if you want me to respond strictly as a psychotherapist. I will respond to any questions that feel pertinent to my readers as a whole.
Dear Dr. Toni:
My boyfriend has just told me he isn’t attracted to me anymore. He prefers girls who work out and have lean, tight bodies. He claims to still love me but wants to see other people too. I love the guy, Dr Toni. I don’t want to break up with him. On the other hand, I am never going to have that kind of body. What should I do?—Zaftig in Sedona
Dear Zaftig:
Sociologically speaking, research shows that most men do have a body type that they are attracted to and if you’re not it, it isn’t going to change. I hear that you love him, but do you love you? How does it feel to not be desired by him physically? Is his voice mirroring the one inside your own head? On some level, do you reject your own body, and so it feels familiar and natural to have the person you love reject it too?
I am going to suggest you do the following exercise: Sit in a chair in front of a mirror with candles surrounding you and the lights out. Start by finding one physical quality you like about yourself. Focus on that for a few minutes. Now smile deeply at the person reflected back at you while repeating this statement: “I love you. I love you just the way you are. I love you.” Do this every night for a week and then ask yourself if it is right for you to stay with your boyfriend.
Dear Dr. Toni:
I work in a large law firm as an administrative assistant to one of the partners. He is going through a divorce and is taking all the rage he feels toward his soon-to-be ex-wife out on me. It is getting to the point where I dread going to work. I had previously really loved my job. I don’t know what to do except leave and then I would be facing unemployment at age fifty. What do you suggest?—Susan S.
Dear Susan:
You didn’t mention whether you had voiced your discomfort to your boss about his behavior. Assuming you have not, what I would suggest before you start calling headhunters and looking through the want ads is to ask for a meeting at a time after work when you both are not pressured. However, before you request that meeting, take three days to do a visualization exercise.
Every night before you go to bed, close your eyes and, in your mind’s eye, envision your boss being bathed in radiant white light which surrounds him and fills him. Then visualize a green energetic line from your heart to his. Send him compassion and an intention for healing in his heart chakra. At the end of three days, if you notice a change in his attitude toward you, then there is no need to have the meeting. If there is no change, ask to see him privately but hold the intention that you both will come out feeling heard and understood. If you find there is no improvement, then the message may be that it is time to move on and the only way you are going to leave your job is to have your work circumstances get so uncomfortable that you are forced to go. Some times the lesson is to create peace where there is strife and sometimes the lesson is radical change.
Dear Readers,
Look into your life and see where conflict has become a chronic issue. Do the visualization exercise mentioned above. Sometimes social activism at its most effective is needed in your own backyard where it is most challenging. But if we take on our own lives, the entire world can shift.
Happy Spring Equinox!
To submit questions for Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor, contact Dr. Toni Galardi through DrToni@LifeQuake.net (no period after the Dr). For those seeking private consultation, Dr. Toni can be reached at 310-712-2600 or through her website,
www.LifeQuake.net.