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Features
Ray of Light in India: A Conversation with Sister Lucy Kurien
by Elyssa Paige
A tear stricken young woman with bruises on her face and a baby in her arms arrives at a gate in Pune, India. She is seeking refuge from her abusive husband whom she believes is going to kill her.
Her story is one of thousands in India, where domestic violence, alcoholism, the dowry system and the caste system are some of the conditions that lead to patriarchal injustice and the widespread oppression of women. Uneducated and destitute, these women often end up facing starvation in the streets with suicide as the only escape.
That was until Maher.
An interfaith community that welcomes everyone regardless of religion or caste, Maher began in 1997 as a home for abused women and children with nowhere to go. Meaning “mother’s home” in the local language of Marathi, Maher came to be through the extraordinary vision and perseverance of Sister Lucy Kurien.
Today Maher has grown beyond a shelter for traumatized women to an active force that is changing the conditions that led to its creation in the first place. Maher now has 22 projects in the villages surrounding Pune, some of which include awareness programs, vocational training, literacy classes, daycare centers, and services to provide food, water and shelter to those in need.
A project of the Satyana Institute, a non-profit service and training organization, Maher is a ray of light that shines through the 1500 women and the 570 children who have found a safe haven within its doors. It is drawing the world’s attention to how women are treated in Indian society with the goal of creating unity and equality for all.
Sister Lucy Kurien is an inspiration whose work has changed thousands of lives. It was an honor to speak with her recently about her work with Maher in uplifting the people in her community and raising awareness about domestic violence across the world.
Vision Magazine: What was your inspiration for starting Maher?
Sister Lucy Kurien: In 1991, a woman came to me and said, “My life is in danger; I need shelter.” At that time, I did not have anything to offer her, but I told her to come back and I would see how we could help her out. Unfortunately that very night, she had an argument with her husband and he set her on fire. It happened in front of our house at HOPE, [a social work center]. She recognized me and was yelling, “Save me, save me!” That was when I realized it was the same woman who had come for help in the morning. We put out the fire and admitted her to the hospital, but by then, it was too late. She was already 90 percent burned. At that time, she was also seven months pregnant. At the hospital, we asked if anything could be done to save the child, but what we had in our hands was a totally burned baby. That was when I realized that I had to do something.
Before this happened, I used to see women on the streets and I thought, What can I do? Where can I find money to help these women? I had no answer. But this incident really shook my life. I got out of my comfort zone and set out to do something.
VM: What are some ways that Maher brings a new life for the oppressed women of India?
SLK: The first and foremost thing that we do is teach them that they are someone and they don’t need anybody else to support them—they can support themselves. After they receive counseling to get out of the initial trauma, we train them in a skill if it is possible. Many of our women [later become] employed by Maher. There are 65 to 70 women who are helping us with our various projects. We have 570 children at the moment and these women who have been with us now take care of them. I find that they are more understanding, loving, and caring than other women who come to our house.
VM: Do you have a heartwarming story that you’d like to share about Maher?
SLK: Over 1500 women have been through Maher. All of them come with one story or another. I will share one with you.
Recently, a woman came to us. Her name is Sunita. She had two children. One of our staff [members] saw her standing near our gate at six in the morning. It was pouring rain. She asked, “Why are you standing out in the pouring rain? Come into the house.” And when she came in, she said, “I was afraid to come inside because I didn’t know if you would accept me.” The staff [member] asked her, “How did you know about this place?” She answered, “I was going to kill myself and my two children.”
She was 16 years old and an orphan brought up in an institution. Some people who knew her helped her into marriage but unfortunately, her husband died of blood cancer. She had nowhere to go, the baby was so small, and the other child was about three and a half or four years old. She had no money because she had no education. She was trying to find a husband but no one would marry her because she had this baby and no money. She did not know what to do.
Finally, she decided that she would take her two children and jump in the river. At that moment, a drunkard who was passing by asked her, “What are you trying to do here? Why are you standing here at this time of night?” When she explained the story to him, he told her about Maher. After he brought her, she told us how she had planned to kill herself and her two children. We took her [in], trained her, and now she is one of the housemothers. She looks after her two children, plus another 10 children. Now she looks so different—so happy and relaxed.
VM: What do you attribute Maher’s success to?
SLK: One of the things that I feel is [behind] Maher’s success is that it is an interfaith [community]. Maher does not prefer any one particular religion over the other. We come together to pray, but not to any one particular god or deity. We respect God and we teach the women and children to meditate.
VM: How has the public responded to Maher’s repudiation of religious distinction, as well as caste distinction?
SLK: My name sounds Christian, so in the beginning when I went to the village, the fundamental Hindus thought that I’d come there for conversion. And there was opposition [from the Christians] because I was not going to the Sunday masses. So I had difficulty from both sides. But now the people and the village have accepted me so well; I have no problems.
VM: What are some of the other challenges that Maher has had to face?
SLK: Challenges have been many. Overcoming the difficulties of gaining the understanding of the people was the biggest challenge. Also, raising funds was a challenge that we had to face all of the time because we were not getting much money from the Indian government. But many people of good will come forward to help us out financially.
VM: How has Maher’s focus moved from being a refuge for battered women to a driving force for education?
SLK: We starting thinking, Why are so many women coming to Maher? And what can we do? One thing is to create awareness in the villages. Now we’ve got almost 270 Self Help Groups. Every group has about 20 women who come together for a meeting every month to give some money—whatever amount they can pay. The group decides if it is 50 rupees or 100 hundred rupees, depending on the strength of the group. For some groups, maybe it is just 20 rupees. So they come every month and put the money together. Whoever needs it most that month uses the money [and the nominal interest proceeds go back into the community pool]. If the money becomes a big amount, the group can decide to start an income-generating program to benefit all.
We also have 17 Balwadis, that is, kindergartens, in the villages. Each Balwadi has 15 to 25 children. Once the Balwadis are successful, we hand them over to the government—and this allows us to start new ones elsewhere.
The answer to all of the problems in India is education. Education is not only book knowledge. In Maher, we have a street theater group. In the villages, most of the women don’t know how to read. Through the street theater, they create different types of awareness programs about health and hygiene, the importance of education, superstitious beliefs, and many others.
VM: Maher has answered the call in so many ways, from healing and education to providing a well in a community where there was a need for fresh water. What are some other ways that Maher has improved conditions in the villages?
SLK: The latest project we have started is a blood testing camp in the slums. We noticed that many of the children were malnourished, so we began giving them one nutritious meal a day. We created a small kitchen where we cook a hot meal. There are about 50 children in one place. In another, we have about 40 children, so in total, there are about 90 to 100 children that we feed every day.
In Maher, we also have a home for mentally disturbed women who fall to the wayside. Over 200 women have been there and at present, we have 65 patients with us. Because of domestic violence, these women go completely crazy and end up in the streets.
We also have a home for aged people who have nothing and are in the streets with no one to take care of them. At the moment, we have over 30 women there.
VM: In terms of the larger picture, do you believe that the attitude of men toward women will change in Indian society and across the world?
SLK: Among the educated men in the cities, there has been some change. But in the slums, it’s going to take a long time. Even today I was reading the paper and I found that with men and women—everywhere, not only in India—there is no equality. Maybe it is not as severe in other countries as it is in India, where there is oppression and the lives of the women are very difficult. The men have money in India, but the women have no money and they are not educated. Moreover, when they register their cases in the police stations, the men bribe the police and the women’s voices are not heard. It will take a long time because our women must first learn their rights.
In India, when we are children, we are naturally dependent on our fathers. When we are married, we are dependent on our husbands. And when we are old, we are dependent on our children. None of our women have a bank account—they don’t even know what a bank account is. They don’t know how to write their names. [In Maher] we teach these things and then the women really see that they can support themselves. I see them changing their lives.
VM: What is your dream for Maher and for the world?
SLK: There are many demands on Maher to start homes for women and children in various parts of the country. My dream is that Maher’s children will run Maher. And I hope that there will be no need for a home like Maher one day. I always think of a very peaceful India and a very peaceful world.
For more information about Maher, please visit maherashram.org. Learn more about the Satyana Institute at satyana.org. Donate to Maher through indiancharity.org or give2asia.org. Read the amazing stories from Maher in Women Healing Women: A Model of Hope for Oppressed Women Everywhere, by William Keepin and Cynthia Brix, available at women-healing-women.net. A portion of the proceeds support Maher.