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Shadow Work – A Hero’s Journey
A Conversation with Debbie Ford
by Sydney L. Murray
It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events by which the path to success may be recognized. - I Ching
The sky was alight with color that made me gasp as I stood outside my home yesterday morning and I was grateful for all that I have. It was the day after Christmas and I saw it as a gift— a reminder of the light that is within us all.
The New Year brings up memories of the year past, as well as a sense of hope for the future. So often this striving for a better life seems to fade away and is replaced by the task of living. So as we ponder the future we can ask, “How do I create a better life for myself?”
Debbie Ford’s teachings on the shadow can help us mine the gold that is found deep within each one of us, often mired in the dark recesses of our minds. Those aspects of ourselves that we fear sharing with others, once revealed and acknowledged, can allow us the ability to purge destructive tendencies. Often, we create personas to mask what we least like to divulge. Ford’s teachings really resonate with me. Inattention to our shadow element perpetuates damaging behaviors that we may hold deep within. This neglect can be harmful not only in our personal lives but also to society as well.
The seduction of war, rising drug use in the suburbs and the endless obsession with those in the media spotlight are manifestations of this widespread neglect. Are Americans afraid of the wrong things? Each one of us can begin to answer that question only when we understand and expose our own shadow aspects. Ford’s DVD and soon-to-be-released new book, The Shadow Effect–A Journey From Your Darkest Thought to Your Greatest Dream, offers ways that we can constructively deal with our own shadows and, in time, the collective shadow.
Vision Magazine: What is the shadow effect?
Debbie Ford: The shadow effect occurs when parts of ourselves are denied or suppressed, or when a hidden aspect surfaces unexpectedly. The shadow effect is that moment when, all of a sudden, we are shocked by the words that come out of our mouths—ones that we never meant to say, or when we exhibit self-sabotaging behavior. The shadow effect is when we drink too much, spend too much; when we cheat on our spouses, when we get caught overspending from a company expense account, for example, or when we get caught in a lie. It happens when we suddenly blow up at our children or somebody we love, or when we think that we’ve turned off the phone and then gossip about one of our friends.
VM: What would be our national shadow in the United States?
DF: I think right now we have experienced greed and irresponsibility. We’ve spent money we haven’t had. There are many people taking tremendous bonuses and salaries while leaving other people broke. The Bernie Madoffs of the world are our shadows and we have not had the correct systems in place to ensure that people like him are unable to commit huge financial frauds or the banks we’re bailing out do not have access to tremendous bonuses.
Denial is one of the shadows where we do not really own up to the issues and the problems facing us. All of you are a part of this country, where half the people are going to love you and the other half is going to try to destroy you. Because of this polarity, people don’t work together.
VM: What would be a constructive way to engage the shadow?
DF: Your shadow has a voice. It can guide you and tell you why it’s there. To heal the shadow is to find the gifts buried within.
We can discover this shadow through guided imagery or journaling. We could ask ourselves, Why would I need this aspect of myself? Why would I have needed this shadow experience—perhaps there was something dark that happened when I was a child?
And how do I love these parts of myself? Through shadow work you will hear it inside. This is where the answers lie.
In our training, I make people actually work through the big shadows underneath that are painful for them, like being made fun of by others. It is when they face this possible humiliation that they can be fully self-expressed. Otherwise they are always minimizing their greatness out of the fear of this shadow aspect.
VM: How did the book come about?
DF: It was after the DVD got released and I began really seeing the tremendous affect it had on people.
There is an emerging awareness now that the shadow isn’t something to be feared; it isn’t something to run from and be hidden. Instead the shadow actually, when brought to the surface, can heal us and bring us together. It helps us integrate into a whole moving organism.
My publisher wanted me to write another book. I had already written The Secret of the Shadow; The Dark Side of the Light Chasers and Why Good People Do Bad Things, which are all about the shadow. I suggested that we bring in Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson. They did such an amazing job in the movie [The Shadow Effect] and both of them have been inspirations and friends to me as well.
The book, which comes out May 4, 2010, from Harper One, will be in three parts. I’ll be doing the individual shadow and how we embrace, make peace with, and digest our own personal shadows. Deepak will be writing about how our individual shadows make up the collective shadow that haunts us and can destroy us—whether it’s because we ignore the environment, our own financial health or the integrity of our collective whole. Marianne will be doing the spirit of the shadow through the eyes of God and spirit. She will ask, “How does the shadow come in? Is there evil and how do different cultures and religions deal with the shadow?”
And how can we do this work? Unfortunately a lot of spiritual people turn their backs on the shadow, thinking that it is not holy.
There’s a conversation in the world today regarding the law of attraction: “If I put my attention on it, it will grow.” But what people don’t understand is that your shadow will blow up in your face if you don’t put attention on it. So Marianne, in her most loving and holy way, will allow people in the context of spirituality, to be able to see what I’ve seen all these years when I teach that the shadow might be the holiest part of ourselves.
Shadow work is sacred work because we have to be vulnerable, compassionate and heartfelt. It’s very easy to love yourself when you wake up feeling and looking good; when you have enough money in the bank; when everybody is doing what you want them to do and when there are opportunities everywhere you look. But is this love? I believe that you can love yourself even when you don’t feel good or when you’ve lost your job and you can’t feed your family or when your husband left you or is cheating on you. This is real love—compassionate and sacred.
VM: Our theme in January is everyday heroes. Are there heroes in your life?
DF: I have so many. All of the people who train with me are my heroes. People who come to do shadow work are learning to love what’s been unlovable, not just in themselves, but also in our world. These are the love stories. And to me that’s what is going to bring the peace; that’s going to be the healing—when we learn from all aspects of ourselves. The people I’ve trained always awe me.
I also have the most amazing family—my sister Arielle Ford and my brother-in-law, Brian Hilliard are big heroes of mine. My dad, and my child—oh my God! They’re phenomenal.
I have so many great teachers. Deepak Chopra is one of my heroes. He will never leave things the status quo. He’s always pushing himself, always going further. Marianne Williamson does this as well. I’m in a group of evolutionary leaders where all of them blow my mind because they’re unwilling to sit and keep their mouths shut. They are courageous, and they will stand up for those who have no voice. You, Sydney! You’re a hero of mine. People like you who have magazines and radio shows and are putting this information out to the world. That’s courage. That’s strength. That’s the willingness to forge new ground.
VM: What’s on the horizon for you?
DF: In January, we’re doing my latest book The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse on Oprah.com. I’m really excited about being able to take millions of people through a transformation. I look forward to supporting them as they reconnect with what will heal them.
We’ve been doing the shadow process in other countries. We did them last year in Lebanon, the UK (United Kingdom), and Denmark. It’s being taught in Germany and Israel as well.
VM: It must be interesting to see different cultures participating in the shadow work.
DF: It’s amazing to see how people’s hearts just crack open because they realize that the person on the other side of the border is just like them. That’s my commitment—to educate teachers so that they can educate kids and then move on to the world leaders to show them that we don’t have to be ashamed of our shadows. We have to deal with this aspect of ourselves and stop pointing our fingers at everybody else.
VM: If all of us would stop pointing the finger at others and look within, we could change the world.
DF: It’s easier to point the finger than to deal with certain parts of ourselves. There is a tendency in all of us to waste time on other people’s lives. We can be spaced out for hours on Facebook instead of going after our soul’s dream. Many people are addicted to gossip sites, reading newspapers and watching news shows. Of course we all need a dose of the news to know what’s going on in the world, but not so much that we give away our own light in order to look at others.
We deserve self-love and the only way to attain this completely is to love all of the parts within us. We also must realize that the shadow really isn’t dark, because as soon as we bring light to it—it is light.
People don’t have to be afraid of this process because they’re going to find something inside themselves that’s so awesome, so perfect, and so whole that they’ll never have to be scared again. They won’t have to overeat or overspend or do whatever it is that they do to numb the pain. Just stop it, get out of it, and bathe in the light.
Debbie Ford’s work can change your life and our world. Let us collectively hold the mirror up and take responsibility for all that is in our lives. Get rid of those aspects that are not serving you or others and embrace those that offer the best part of yourself. I will leave you with a quote from the man who illuminated the shadow in us all.
Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. -Carl Gustav Jung
Debbie Ford will appear at the eighth annual Conscious Life Expo, February 12-14 at the LAX Hilton in Los Angeles. Check out consciouslifeexpo.com to learn more about this amazing event loaded with speakers, workshops, and conscious exhibitors. For more information about Debbie Ford, visit DebbieFord.com or visit theshadoweffect.com.